Q: Does it ever get windy in
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from
A: Sure, its only two thousand kilometres take lots of water...
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in
A: So its true what they say about Swedes...
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about Koala Bear racing in
A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific. A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of
Q: Which direction is north in
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and well send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Hillbrow, come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in
A: Anywhere where a significant number of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: Are there killer bees in
A: Not yet, but for you, we ' ll import them.
Q: Are there supermarkets in
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All South African snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: I was in South Africa in 1969, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Hillbrow. Can you help? (
A: Yes, but you will probably still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (
A: Yes, but youll have to learn it first.